Heybabeimwearingurpanties
home. puking in laundry basket.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
