u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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