I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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