none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Barsexuality is the new black.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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