dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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