If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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