Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
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Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
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Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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