I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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