I wish my penis had an off switch
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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