Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
