I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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