ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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