I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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