Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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