forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
