the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
