just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It's Friday. Sex?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
