were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
