tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Screwed.edu
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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