My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
