Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
