no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
