Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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