You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
