Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can you bring me the toilet please
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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