Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
