oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
