My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
