Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
