ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
