Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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