How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
