Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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