I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She's the barista slut.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
