She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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