saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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