Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Will exercising make me less horny?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
