It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
