Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
