you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
