I want to have your abortion
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
