i jhust puked up my retainher.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
