he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
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is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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