Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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