Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
