New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.