Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt