Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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