I smell stomach acid.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
