i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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