chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
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Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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