I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
