Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
