In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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