I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
