saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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