i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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