My friends, they love my intelligence
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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