So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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