I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything