Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.